Saturday, April 4, 2020

WOW I Forgot

Life has been so much that I just forgot.  I forgot I had this space to share.  I forgot that I use to enjoy this.  I forgot that this was the first.  This was before YouTube.  Before I returned to school (I believe).  This was the space I thought and still think no one was watching but I did it anyway just because.  I enjoyed this until I didn't.

I know why I stopped enjoying this.  Comparison.  I started comparing my space to other people's success.  I started wanting what they had and if I couldn't have their success then it wasn't worth it.  It's sad to think about but it's honest.  I still have that feeling but I don't let it stop me as much as I use to.  I've done things during my time back at school I wouldn't have done if I allowed comparison control me.  Because I have definitely done things differently think others.  It leads to loneliness sometimes.  However, it has also lead to me knowing God and myself more.  Some times becoming more of who you are meant to mean being less available for who people think or want you to be.

I really have missed this.  I can't guarantee I will do this more often but now I remember.

Still Smiling

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